10 Self-Care Practices for Highly Sensitive People

As a highly sensitive person, you may find yourself feeling overwhelmed and drained by the demands of daily life. The world can be a challenging and often overstimulating place for those who are highly sensitive, and it’s important to take care of yourself in order to maintain your mental and emotional health. In this blog post, we will explore 10 self-care practices that can benefit highly sensitive people and help you feel more grounded and resilient.

Image by Tiny Tribes from Pixabay
  1. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present in the moment and paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings without judgment. For highly sensitive people, mindfulness can be an effective tool for managing overstimulation and overwhelm. By focusing on the present moment and letting go of worry about the future or regret about the past, you can reduce stress and anxiety and cultivate a greater sense of calm and inner peace. You can practice mindfulness through meditation, deep breathing exercises, or simply by taking a few moments to be still and observe your surroundings.
  2. Set Boundaries: As a highly sensitive person, it’s important to set clear boundaries in your relationships and your daily life. This may mean saying no to social invitations or taking a break from social media and other forms of technology. It may also mean communicating your needs and limits to others and advocating for yourself when necessary. By setting boundaries, you can create a sense of safety and security that can help you better manage your emotions and maintain your mental and emotional health.
  3. Practice Self-Compassion: Self-compassion is the practice of treating yourself with kindness and understanding, even in moments of difficulty or challenge. For highly sensitive people, self-compassion can be a powerful tool for managing intense emotions and reducing self-criticism. By practicing self-compassion, you can cultivate a greater sense of self-worth and self-acceptance, which can help you navigate the ups and downs of life with greater resilience and ease.
  4. Engage in Creative Expression: Engaging in creative activities can be a powerful form of self-care and a way for highly sensitive people to process and express their emotions in a safe and healthy way. Whether it’s writing, painting, dancing, or playing music, creative expression can also be a form of meditation that helps to focus attention and quiet the mind. It allows individuals to channel their emotions in a positive way and find joy in self-expression. You don’t have to be a professional artist to benefit from creative activities; finding an activity that brings you joy and allows you to express yourself can be incredibly therapeutic.
  5. Practice Gratitude: Gratitude is a powerful tool for highly sensitive people to reduce stress and anxiety and cultivate joy and contentment. By intentionally focusing on the positive aspects of your life and feeling thankful for what you have, you can shift your focus away from negative thoughts and emotions and cultivate a sense of positivity and optimism. Practicing gratitude can take many forms, such as keeping a gratitude journal, reflecting on what you’re thankful for each day, or expressing gratitude to others through acts of kindness and appreciation. Whether you choose to appreciate the beauty around you or focus on the small things in life, the practice of gratitude can help highly sensitive people to feel more grounded and centered.
  6. Engage in Physical Activity: Physical activity is an important form of self-care for highly sensitive people. Exercise can help you reduce stress, improve mood, and increase energy levels. It can also be a form of mindfulness, helping you to focus your attention and release tension from your body. You can engage in physical activity by going for a walk, taking a yoga class, or trying a new form of exercise that you enjoy.
  7. Spend Time in Nature: Nature can serve as a healing and grounding presence for highly sensitive people, and spending time in natural surroundings can help to reduce stress and anxiety, improve mood, and cultivate a greater sense of peace and well-being. Whether you choose to go for a hike, visit a local park or nature reserve, or simply spend time in your own backyard, connecting with nature can be an incredibly grounding and restorative form of self-care.
  8. Practice Emotional Regulation: Emotional regulation is the practice of managing intense emotions in a healthy and productive way. For highly sensitive people, emotional regulation can be an important form of self-care, helping you to manage overstimulation and overwhelm. One way to practice emotional regulation is to identify your triggers and develop strategies to manage your response. This could include deep breathing exercises, mindfulness meditation, or talking to a trusted friend or counsellor. It can also be helpful to have a self-soothing kit or comfort items on hand, such as a weighted blanket, essential oils, or a comforting object, to help you feel grounded and calm.
  9. Set Boundaries: As a highly sensitive person, it can be challenging to navigate the demands of everyday life without feeling overwhelmed or drained. Setting boundaries is an important form of self-care for highly sensitive people, as it can help you to manage overstimulation and protect your energy. This can include things like saying no to social events or activities that don’t align with your values or priorities, setting limits on the amount of time you spend on social media or other forms of technology, and communicating your needs and boundaries clearly to others. Setting boundaries can help you feel more in control of your time and energy, and prevent burnout.
  10. Calm Environment: Creating a calming environment in your home can help reduce overstimulation and promote feelings of calm and relaxation. This can include incorporating soothing colors and textures, minimizing clutter, and adding plants or natural elements to your space. By creating a calming environment, you can cultivate a safe space where you feel comfortable and relaxed.

Seeking support is also an important self-care practice for highly sensitive people. Seeking support from a trusted friend, family member, or an HSP counsellor can be an effective way to feel seen, heard, and understood. An experienced HSP counsellor can provide tools and strategies for managing sensitivity in a healthy way.

Self-care is essential for highly sensitive people to maintain their mental and emotional health. By practicing self-compassion, engaging in activities that promote calm and relaxation, and setting boundaries, highly sensitive people can learn to manage their sensitivity in a healthy and positive way. It is important to incorporate some of these self-care practices into your daily routine and see how they can benefit your overall wellbeing. Whether it’s practicing mindfulness, engaging in creative activities, or seeking support from a trusted professional, there are many ways to practice self-care as a highly sensitive person. So take the time to tune in to your needs and prioritize your self-care. By engaging in practices that help you manage your sensitivity, set boundaries, and cultivate self-awareness, you can create a sense of balance and well-being in your life.

At Constellations Counselling, we specialize in working with highly sensitive people and offer a safe and supportive space for you to explore your emotions, reflect on your experiences, and develop a deeper understanding of yourself. Contact us today to learn more about how we can support you on your journey.

10 Journaling Prompts for Highly Sensitive People: A Self-Discovery Journey

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by your thoughts and emotions? Or struggled to express yourself in a way that feels authentic and meaningful? If so, you might benefit from journaling. Journaling is the act of writing down your thoughts and feelings in a safe and private space. It’s a simple but powerful tool that can help you better understand yourself, manage stress and anxiety, and improve your mental health and wellbeing.

Benefits of Journaling

Journaling has numerous benefits for your mental health and wellbeing. Here are just a few:

  1. Reduces Stress and Anxiety – Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you process and manage stress and anxiety. It can provide a sense of relief and help you gain perspective on your problems.
  2. Improves Mood – Journaling can help you identify negative thought patterns and reframe them in a more positive light. It can also help you focus on the good things in your life and cultivate gratitude.
  3. Boosts Self-Awareness – Journaling can help you become more self-aware and reflective. It can help you identify your values, goals, and desires, and gain a deeper understanding of yourself.
  4. Enhances Creativity – Journaling can help you tap into your creativity and express yourself in a more authentic way. It can also help you generate new ideas and insights.
  5. Improves Relationships – Journaling can help you communicate more effectively with others by helping you better understand your own feelings and needs. It can also help you work through conflicts and improve your relationships.

How to Get Started

Getting started with journaling is easy. All you need is a notebook and a pen. Here are some tips to help you get started:

  1. Set aside time each day for journaling – This can be as little as five minutes or as long as an hour. The key is to make it a regular habit.
  2. Choose a private and comfortable space – Find a quiet and private space where you can write without interruption. Make sure you’re comfortable and relaxed.
  3. Write freely – Don’t worry about grammar, spelling, or punctuation. Just write down whatever comes to mind.
  4. Focus on the process, not the outcome – Journaling is not about writing something perfect or profound. It’s about the act of writing itself and the benefits it provides.
  5. Be honest and authentic – Write down your true thoughts and feelings, even if they’re uncomfortable or difficult.
Image by CharuTyagi from Pixabay

Journaling Prompts for Highly Sensitive People

  1. What are some situations that trigger my sensitivity? How do I react to these situations, and how can I better manage my response?
  2. What are some ways I can practice self-care and recharge my energy as a highly sensitive person? What activities make me feel most alive and grounded?
  3. What are some values that are important to me as a highly sensitive person? How can I live in alignment with these values?
  4. What are some areas of my life where I feel overwhelmed or stressed? How can I create more balance and ease in these areas?
  5. What are some qualities I admire in myself as a highly sensitive person? How can I cultivate these qualities more fully?
  6. What are some fears or limiting beliefs that hold me back as a highly sensitive person? How can I challenge these beliefs and move beyond them?
  7. What are some relationships in my life that nourish me as a highly sensitive person? How can I cultivate more of these types of relationships?
  8. What are some ways I can practice mindfulness and stay present in the moment as a highly sensitive person?
  9. What are some things I’m grateful for as a highly sensitive person? How can I cultivate a practice of gratitude and appreciation in my daily life?
  10. What are some ways I can express my creativity and emotions as a highly sensitive person? How can I use my sensitivity as a strength in my creative pursuits?

These prompts are just a starting point, and you can tailor them to your own needs and preferences. Remember that journaling is a personal and flexible practice, and there is no right or wrong way to do it. The most important thing is to show up for yourself and allow yourself the space to explore your thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

Overall, highly sensitive people can use journaling as a powerful tool to gain a deeper understanding of themselves and their experiences, identify patterns and triggers, develop coping strategies, and learn to manage their sensitivity in a healthy and positive way. By incorporating journaling into your self-care routine, you can benefit your wellbeing. This reflective practice can help you explore your emotions, reflect on your experiences, and cultivate self-awareness and self-care. Regularly engaging in journaling can enable you to better understand yourself and your needs, and develop strategies to manage your sensitivity in a healthy and positive way. So grab a pen and paper, and start exploring the depths of your sensitivity through journaling.

If you’re interested in exploring your sensitivity further or have any questions about journaling, feel free to reach out to a Vancouver counsellor at Constellations Counselling.

Embracing Rest: Why Rest is Just as Productive as Work

In our fast-paced, productivity-obsessed culture, rest is often viewed as a luxury that we can’t afford. We equate being busy with being successful, and many of us feel guilty or ashamed for taking time to rest. However, as highly sensitive people, rest is essential for our physical, mental, and emotional health. In this blog post, we’ll explore the importance of rest, why we avoid rest, and how we can change our perspectives on rest to view it as productive and valuable as work.

The Importance of Rest

Rest is essential for our overall health and well-being. It is a time for our bodies and minds to recharge and replenish. When we don’t allow ourselves to rest, we can experience burnout, exhaustion, and a host of physical and mental health issues. Rest allows us to:

  • Recharge our batteries: Resting allows our bodies and minds to recover from the stresses of daily life, giving us the energy we need to tackle our responsibilities.
  • Reduce stress: Resting helps to reduce stress hormones in our bodies, promoting relaxation and reducing the risk of physical and mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, heart disease, high blood pressure, chronic pain, insomnia, and immune system dysfunction.
  • Boost our immune system: Resting can be particularly helpful in improving our immune system’s ability to fight off illness. For instance, a study published in the journal “Psychosomatic Medicine” found that people who slept less than seven hours a night were three times more likely to develop a cold than those who slept eight hours or more. Another study published in the “Journal of Sleep Research” found that people who slept for less than six hours a night had a significantly higher risk of getting sick with a cold than those who slept for more than seven hours a night. These studies highlight the importance of getting adequate rest in order to maintain a healthy immune system and prevent illness.
  • Improve our cognitive function: Resting helps to improve memory, concentration, and overall cognitive function. For example, a study published in the “Journal of Sleep Research” found that taking a nap during the day improved cognitive function, including memory recall and reaction time, in healthy adults.
  • Improved creativity: Resting allows our minds to wander and can help us to come up with new ideas and creative solutions. Additionally, rest gives our brain a chance to consolidate memories and process emotions.
  • Better decision-making: Resting allows us to approach problems with a fresh perspective, improving our ability to make informed decisions.
  • Increased efficiency: Taking time to rest can help us to avoid burnout and fatigue, improving our ability to work efficiently and effectively. Studies have shown that taking breaks throughout the workday can improve productivity and efficiency. For example, a study conducted by the Draugiem Group found that the most productive employees worked for 52 minutes and then took a 17-minute break. Additionally, research published in the journal Cognition found that taking breaks can help improve attention and performance on cognitive tasks. By taking breaks to rest and recharge, we can actually increase our efficiency and productivity in the long run.

Why We Avoid Rest

Despite the benefits of rest, many of us avoid it. There are several reasons why we may struggle to rest:

  • Societal Beliefs: We live in a culture that values productivity and busyness, often equating them with success. This makes us feel guilty or ashamed for taking time to rest. As a result, we may even feel like we need to justify our rest to others or be seen as lazy. It’s important to challenge these beliefs and recognize that rest is a valuable and necessary part of a healthy and balanced life.
  • Fear of Missing Out (FOMO): We may worry that we’ll miss out on opportunities or fall behind if we take time to rest. This FOMO can stem from the constant barrage of social media updates that portray everyone else’s lives as perfect and productive. It can be hard to recognize that rest is just as important as productivity, especially when we feel like we’re competing with others for success. However, taking time to rest can actually increase our productivity and help us achieve our goals in a more sustainable way.
  • Perfectionism: We may feel pressure to be perfect and believe that taking time to rest is a sign of weakness or failure. This belief is often reinforced by our surroundings, as we are bombarded with messages that praise the “hustle” and working non-stop. However, it’s important to remember that rest is not a sign of weakness, but a necessary component of self-care and productivity. By allowing ourselves to rest, we can actually improve our performance and achieve our goals more effectively.
  • Self-Doubt: We may believe that our worth is tied to our productivity and struggle to take time for ourselves. This belief can be deeply ingrained and challenging to overcome, but it’s essential to remember that our worth is not tied to our productivity. Taking time for ourselves and engaging in rest can actually improve our productivity and overall well-being in the long run. It’s important to challenge these limiting beliefs and give ourselves permission to rest without guilt or shame.
  • Avoidance: When we rest, our minds have time to think and reflect on things that we may have been avoiding. Unwanted thoughts, feelings, and sensations can arise, which can be uncomfortable or even painful. For some, staying busy and avoiding rest can be a coping mechanism to avoid confronting these difficult emotions. However, it’s important to recognize that avoiding rest can actually make these feelings more intense and difficult to manage in the long run. By allowing ourselves to rest, we give ourselves the opportunity to process and work through these emotions in a healthier way. It can be scary to confront these feelings, but it’s an important step towards healing and growth.

Changing Our Perspectives on Rest

In order to fully reap the benefits of rest, we need to change our perspectives on it. We need to view rest as productive and valuable as work. One of the main challenges in embracing rest as a productive and valuable activity is changing our perspective on what constitutes “productive” work. Many of us have been conditioned to believe that rest is a waste of time and that we should always be productive and busy. This belief is not only misguided, but it can also lead to burnout, stress, and physical and mental health problems.

To change our perspective on rest, we need to reframe our thinking about what constitutes productive work. Rather than seeing rest as a waste of time, we need to recognize that rest is a critical component of productivity and success. Rest allows us to recharge our batteries, boost our creativity, and improve our focus and concentration. When we embrace rest as a valuable activity, we can experience greater productivity, better health, and a higher quality of life. Here are some tips for changing our perspectives on rest:

  • Acknowledge the importance of rest: It’s important to recognize that rest is not a luxury or a waste of time, but rather an essential part of our overall well-being. When we view rest as an important part of self-care, we’re more likely to prioritize it in our lives. Rest helps to promote physical and mental health, reduces stress and fatigue, and increases our overall sense of well-being. By recognizing the importance of rest, we can make sure that we’re taking the necessary steps to care for ourselves. This may mean setting boundaries around work and other activities to ensure that we have dedicated time for rest, or incorporating rest into our daily routine in the form of meditation, yoga, or other relaxation techniques. It’s important to remember that self-care is not selfish, but rather a necessary component of overall health and well-being. When we take care of ourselves, we’re better equipped to care for others and to live our lives to the fullest.
  • Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and recognize that rest is a necessary part of taking care of yourself. Practicing self-compassion is essential when it comes to embracing rest. Being kind to yourself and acknowledging that you deserve rest and relaxation is the first step in making it a regular part of your routine. It’s important to remember that taking time for yourself is necessary to recharge and ensure that you are in a healthy state of mind and body. So, be gentle with yourself, and give yourself permission to rest without feeling guilty or ashamed.
  • Let go of perfectionism: Recognize that rest is not a sign of weakness or failure, but rather an essential part of being a productive and healthy person. Perfectionism can make us believe that taking breaks or resting is a waste of time that could be spent being productive. However, the truth is that rest is essential for our physical and mental health, and it can actually improve our productivity in the long run. By letting go of perfectionism and accepting that we all need rest, we can alleviate unnecessary stress and pressure and allow ourselves the time and space to recharge.
  • Set boundaries: Make rest a priority by setting boundaries and making time for it in your schedule. Setting boundaries around rest can help ensure that you are able to prioritize and protect your time for rest. This might include saying no to additional commitments or responsibilities when you need to rest, or communicating your need for rest with others in your life. For example, if you have a friend who frequently wants to make plans during your scheduled rest time, you might explain to them that you need that time for yourself and suggest an alternative time to connect. By setting these boundaries, you can create a routine and space for rest, and help yourself maintain a more balanced and healthy lifestyle.

7 Types of Rest

Image by @silkandsonder (Instagram)

Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, a physician, and author, has identified 7 types of rest that everyone needs. These 7 types of rest are discussed in depth in her book, Sacred Rest.

  1. Physical Rest: Physical rest is the most obvious type of rest and involves taking a break from physical activity to allow your body to recover. This can include sleeping, taking naps, or simply relaxing in a comfortable position.
  2. Mental Rest: Mental rest involves giving your mind a break from constant stimulation and activity. This can include taking a break from work or technology and engaging in activities that are relaxing and calming, such as meditation, reading, or taking a leisurely walk.
  3. Sensory Rest: Sensory rest involves giving your senses a break from overstimulation. This can include taking a break from bright lights, loud noises, and strong smells, and engaging in activities that are calming and soothing, such as taking a warm bath or practicing aromatherapy.
  4. Spiritual Rest: Spiritual rest involves taking time to connect with your inner self and your higher power. This can include engaging in prayer, meditation, or other spiritual practices that help you feel grounded and centered.
  5. Social Rest: Social rest involves taking a break from social interactions and activities that require social engagement. This can include spending time alone, engaging in solitary activities like reading or writing, or spending time in nature.
  6. Emotional Rest: Emotional rest involves taking a break from emotional stressors and allowing yourself to process and release emotions. This can include engaging in counselling, practicing mindfulness, or simply taking time for self-reflection.
  7. Creative Rest: Creative rest involves taking a break from creative activities that require mental and emotional energy. This can include engaging in activities that are restful and calming, such as listening to music, taking a leisurely walk, or spending time in nature.

By understanding these seven types of rest, we can begin to recognize when we need to take a break and which type of rest we need. For example, if we are feeling physically exhausted, we may need to focus on physical rest by getting more sleep or taking a nap. If we are feeling mentally drained, we may need to focus on mental rest by taking a break from work or technology and engaging in calming activities like meditation.

Ways to Embrace Rest

Here are some practical tips for embracing rest and incorporating it into your daily routine:

  • Prioritize rest: Make rest a priority in your life and recognize its importance for your physical and mental health.
  • Schedule rest time: Schedule rest time into your daily routine, just as you would schedule work or other activities. This will help ensure that you have dedicated time for rest and relaxation.
  • Set boundaries: Set boundaries around rest time and protect it from outside demands and distractions.
  • Experiment with different types of rest: Try different types of rest and see which ones work best for you. For example, you may find that you need more physical rest or more emotional rest, depending on your needs.
  • Be kind to yourself: Be kind to yourself and avoid feeling guilty or ashamed for taking time to rest. Remember that rest is productive and necessary for your well-being.
  • Challenge society’s view of rest: Challenge society’s mistaken belief that rest is unproductive or lazy. Recognize that rest is essential for productivity and creativity.
  • Reframe your thinking: Reframe your thinking about rest and view it as visible work. Just as you can see the results of your work, you can also see the benefits of rest in your physical, emotional, and mental health.
  • Practice mindfulness: Practice mindfulness during rest time by focusing on the present moment and letting go of any worries or distractions.
  • Engage in restorative activities: Engage in restorative activities during rest time, such as reading a book, taking a bath, or practicing yoga.

Rest is not only important but essential for our physical, emotional, and mental health. It’s time to change our perspective on rest and view it as productive and valuable as work. By embracing rest and prioritizing it in our daily routine, we can reap the benefits of improved health, productivity, and creativity. Remember to experiment with different types of rest and be kind to yourself throughout the process. At Constellations Counselling in Vancouver, we encourage our clients to embrace rest and incorporate it into their daily routine. Contact us today to learn more about how we can support you on your journey to improved well-being.

Engaging in Play and Working with the Inner Child: A Path to Healing

As adults, we tend to lose touch with the playful, carefree spirit of our childhood. We become so consumed with work, responsibilities, and adulting that we forget to have fun and engage in activities that bring us joy. However, as highly sensitive people, it’s essential that we reconnect with our inner child and engage in play to promote healing and balance in our lives.

At Vancouver’s Constellations Counselling, we often work with clients to help them heal their inner child through art therapy and other modalities. In this post, we’ll explore the importance of engaging in play and working with the inner child, provide examples of the types of play you can try, and offer tips for feeling comfortable exploring this type of therapy.

Why Work with the Inner Child?

Our inner child is the part of ourselves that contains our childhood experiences, beliefs, and emotions. Often, these experiences were formative and can impact our adult lives in profound ways. For highly sensitive people, past traumas or negative experiences can be especially challenging to overcome. Working with the inner child can help us heal from past wounds and promote growth and resilience.

Engaging in play and working with the inner child can:

  • Help us connect with our authentic selves and rediscover our passions and interests
  • Provide an outlet for emotions that may be difficult to express in other ways
  • Promote self-compassion and self-love
  • Help us break patterns of negative self-talk and limiting beliefs
  • Promote relaxation and stress relief
  • Allow us to develop a stronger sense of identity and purpose
Image by Alexa from Pixabay

There are many different ways to engage in play and work with your inner child, and it’s important to find what works best for you. Here are some examples of types of play you could try:

  1. Art therapy: Art therapy is a powerful way to connect with your inner child and express emotions that may be difficult to put into words. By creating art, you can explore your feelings, thoughts, and experiences in a safe and supportive environment.
  2. Movement: Movement involves connecting with your body and moving in intuitive ways to express yourself and release emotions. This can be especially helpful for highly sensitive people who may struggle with feeling grounded in their bodies.
  3. Playful activities: Engage in activities that bring out your playful side, such as playing with pet, blowing bubbles, or coloring in a coloring book.
  4. Imaginative play: Allow yourself to be playful and imaginative, such as creating a fantasy world or pretending to be a superhero.
  5. Outdoor activities: Take a walk in nature, go for a hike, or spend time in a park. Nature can be a healing and grounding space, and spending time outside can help you connect with your inner child.

It’s important to remember that engaging in play and working with your inner child can be scary for people who have never tried this type of activity before. Here are some tips to help you feel comfortable trying it:

  1. Start small: Begin with a simple and low-pressure activity, such as coloring or taking a walk outside.
  2. Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries around what you are comfortable with and what you are not comfortable with. This will help you feel safe and in control.
  3. Seek support: Work with a counsellor who specializes in working with the inner child. They can provide guidance and support as you navigate this process.
  4. Trust the process: Play can feel strange or unfamiliar for adults at first, but trust that your counsellor is guiding you through the process in a way that will promote healing.
  5. Be open and honest: Communicate openly and honestly with your counsellor about your feelings and experiences during a play focused session. This will help them tailor the experience to your unique needs and promote healing.
  6. Let go of expectations: Let go of any expectations you may have about what the therapy session will look like or what you will get out of it. Approach it with an open mind and see where the experience takes you.
  7. Practice self-care: Engaging in play can bring up difficult emotions, so it’s essential to practice self-care before and after sessions. This can involve things like taking a warm bath, practicing mindfulness, or spending time in nature.
  8. Be patient: Healing the inner child takes time, so be patient with yourself and the process. Remember that everyone’s journey is unique, and progress may look different for each person.

Engaging in play and working with your inner child is a powerful way to heal old wounds and connect with your true self. By connecting with your inner child, you can access a sense of playfulness, creativity, and joy that can be difficult to find in the adult world. If you’re interested in exploring this type of work, a Vancouver counsellor at Constellations Counselling can provide you with the support and guidance you need. Remember, it’s never too late to reconnect with your inner child and find healing and joy.

From Self-Criticism to Self-Compassion: Overcoming Shame as a Highly Sensitive Person

As highly sensitive people, we are often prone to feelings of shame and self-criticism. We may feel like we don’t fit in with the “normal” world, or that we are too emotional or too sensitive. These feelings can be overwhelming and can hold us back from reaching our full potential. However, with self-compassion, we can learn to overcome shame and move towards a more positive and fulfilling life.

What is Self-Compassion?

Self-compassion is the act of treating ourselves with the same kindness, concern, and understanding that we would offer to a good friend. It involves acknowledging our feelings and struggles without judgment or criticism, and recognizing that we are human and imperfect. Self-compassion allows us to be kind to ourselves, even when we make mistakes or encounter difficult situations.

The Difference between Self-Compassion and Self-Esteem

Many people confuse self-compassion with self-esteem, but they are actually two different concepts. While self-esteem focuses on our sense of self-worth and value, self-compassion emphasizes our ability to be kind and understanding towards ourselves, even when we don’t feel worthy or valuable. In fact, self-compassion can actually lead to greater self-esteem by helping us feel more confident and resilient.

Why Self-Compassion is Important for Highly Sensitive People

Highly sensitive people may be more prone to self-criticism and shame due to their heightened emotional awareness and sensitivity to the world around them. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy or a sense of not measuring up to societal norms. However, with self-compassion, we can learn to accept ourselves for who we are, and to recognize that our sensitivity is a valuable trait.

Brene Brown, a renowned researcher and author, believes that shame can be overcome through empathy and self-compassion. She argues that we must learn to be kind and gentle with ourselves, treating ourselves with the same empathy and understanding that we offer to others. Highly sensitive people’s strengths include being empathetic and compassionate. To further these strengths, highly sensitive people need to learn to direct those strengths inward. By embracing our own imperfections and practicing self-compassion, we can break free from the cycle of shame and move towards a more positive and fulfilling life.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Three Steps to Overcoming Shame with Self-Compassion

Mindfulness: The first step in developing self-compassion is to become more mindful of our thoughts and feelings. We can practice mindfulness by simply noticing our thoughts and feelings without judgment or criticism. This can help us become more aware of our negative self-talk and the ways in which we may be contributing to our own shame.

Self-Kindness: Once we become more mindful, we can begin to practice self-kindness. This involves treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we would offer to a good friend. We can do this by using positive self-talk and affirmations, and by practicing self-care and self-compassion exercises.

Common Humanity: Finally, it is important to remember that we are not alone in our struggles. All humans experience shame and self-doubt at times, and by recognizing our shared humanity, we can feel less isolated and more connected to others. This can help us feel more compassion towards ourselves and others, and can lead to greater resilience and emotional well-being.

Example Scenario: Overcoming Shame through Self-Compassion

Imagine that you are a highly sensitive person who has recently made a mistake at work. You are feeling overwhelmed and ashamed, and are struggling to move past the mistake. Here’s how you can use self-compassion to overcome these feelings:

Mindfulness: Take a few moments to simply notice your thoughts and feelings. Acknowledge the shame and self-criticism that you are experiencing, but try not to judge or criticize yourself further.

Self-Kindness: Offer yourself words of kindness and understanding, such as “I am only human, and it’s okay to make mistakes.” Practice self-care by taking a break or doing something you enjoy, and remind yourself of your strengths and positive qualities.

Common Humanity: Remember that all humans make mistakes and experience shame at times. You are not alone in your struggles, and by recognizing your shared humanity, you can feel more connected to others.

In conclusion, overcoming shame and self-criticism is a crucial step towards achieving a more positive and fulfilling life as a highly sensitive person. Self-compassion allows us to be kind to ourselves, even when we make mistakes or encounter difficult situations. By practicing mindfulness, self-kindness, and recognizing our common humanity, we can move towards a more positive and accepting relationship with ourselves. As a Vancouver counsellor at Constellations Counselling, I encourage highly sensitive individuals to embrace self-compassion as a powerful tool for overcoming shame and achieving emotional well-being. Remember, we are all human and imperfect, and that is okay.

The Power of Boundaries: Setting Limits for Self-Care as a Highly Sensitive Person

As a highly sensitive person, it can be easy to become overwhelmed by external stimuli and the demands of others which is why setting boundaries is crucial for self-care. In order to protect our emotional well-being and prevent burnout, it is important to set boundaries. But what are boundaries, and why are they so important for highly sensitive people?

Simply put, boundaries are guidelines we set for ourselves to ensure our physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing. They are an essential tool for self-care, helping us to prioritize our needs and prevent others from taking advantage of us. Think of boundaries as a fence around a garden – they keep out the things that could harm the plants, while allowing in the things that are beneficial.

Image by Mariya from Pixabay

For highly sensitive people, setting boundaries is particularly important. We are more likely to feel overwhelmed by external stimuli and can easily take on the emotions of others. Without boundaries, we can quickly become emotionally exhausted, leading to anxiety, depression, overwhelm, and burnout.

It can be challenging to set boundaries, especially when we don’t want to disappoint others or fear conflict. However, setting boundaries is a form of self-respect and the more you practice setting boundaries the more your self-confidence will increase.

So, how can we set effective boundaries as highly sensitive people? Here are four examples:

  1. Saying No: For highly sensitive people, saying no can be a powerful act of self-care. It is important to recognize that we cannot do everything, and that it is okay to prioritize our own needs over the requests of others. Whether it is declining a social invitation or turning down a work project, learning to say no can help us conserve our energy and prevent emotional and physical burnout. If you have a hard time saying no, start small. Practice saying no to things that don’t align with your values or goals. Saying no doesn’t make you a bad person; it’s an act of self-respect.
  2. Communicating Your Needs: If someone is doing something that makes you uncomfortable or upset, speak up. Let them know how you feel and what you need from them. This can be a challenging conversation, but it’s essential to establish healthy communication and maintain healthy relationships. An example of communicating your needs would sound like this: “Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something that’s been on my mind. It makes me feel uncomfortable and self-conscious when you constantly make jokes about my appearance. I want to let you know that I would appreciate it if you could stop making those kinds of comments. I hope you can understand where I’m coming from and respect my feelings.”
  3. Limiting Screen Time: In our digital age, it can be easy to become overwhelmed by constant notifications, emails, and social media updates. As highly sensitive people, it is important to recognize the impact that excessive screen time can have on our mental and emotional health. Setting limits on our use of technology can help us to disconnect and recharge, reducing our stress levels and improving our overall well-being.
  4. Setting Emotional Boundaries: As highly sensitive people, we are often more attuned to the emotions of others. While empathy can be a valuable trait, it is important to recognize when we are taking on the emotions of others to our own detriment. By setting emotional boundaries, we can learn to separate our own emotions from those of others and protect ourselves from emotional overload. For instance, when you are already feeling emotionally drained or overwhelmed, your friend might come to you regularly to vent about their problems. While you want to be there for them, you may find that their emotional load is affecting your own well-being. You could set an emotional boundary by letting your friend know that you need some space and cannot provide emotional support at the moment. This can help you avoid taking on their emotional burden and ensure that you are taking care of yourself first.

Of course, setting boundaries is not always easy. It can be challenging to say no to loved ones or to enforce limits on our own behavior. However, by recognizing the importance of boundaries for our own well-being, we can begin to prioritize them in our lives.

In addition to the four examples above, there are many other ways to set boundaries as a highly sensitive person. Whether it is setting limits on work hours, creating a quiet space for meditation and relaxation, or simply taking time to yourself each day, there are countless ways to prioritize self-care through boundary setting.

If you are struggling to set effective boundaries as a highly sensitive person, it may be helpful to work with a counsellor who specializes in this area. At Constellations Counselling in Vancouver, we understand the challenges that come with being a highly sensitive person. Our compassionate counsellors can help you learn practical strategies for setting boundaries and taking care of yourself. Contact us today to book a session.

In conclusion, setting boundaries is an essential tool for self-care, particularly for highly sensitive people. By learning to say no, communicating your needs, limiting screen time, and setting emotional boundaries, we can protect our mental and emotional well-being and prevent emotional and physical overwhelm. Remember, setting boundaries is not selfish. It’s an act of self-love and self-care. By setting healthy boundaries, you’re taking responsibility for your own wellbeing and showing others how to treat you. So, take some time to consider the boundaries that are important for you, and start putting them into practice today. Your mind and body will thank you.

Navigating Intense Emotions: Coping Techniques for Highly Sensitive People

As a highly sensitive person, navigating intense emotions can be a challenging task. The world can often feel overwhelming, and it’s easy to become swept up in a flood of feelings that seem impossible to manage. However, there are coping techniques that can help you manage your emotions and navigate your way through even the most intense feelings. In this blog, we’ll explore some of those techniques and how they can help you cope as a highly sensitive person.

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a technique that involves paying attention to the present moment without judgment. When you’re feeling overwhelmed with intense emotions, it can be helpful to take a step back and focus on your breath. This can help you become more grounded and centered, allowing you to gain perspective on your emotions. Mindfulness can also help you notice when your emotions are starting to become too much for you to handle, giving you the opportunity to take a break and practice self-care.

Here is a short mindfulness exercise you can try:

  1. Find a comfortable and quiet place where you won’t be disturbed for a few minutes.
  2. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth.
  3. Bring your attention to your breath, noticing the sensation of the air moving in and out of your body.
  4. As you focus on your breath, thoughts may arise. This is natural and normal. Simply acknowledge them and let them pass without judgment or attachment. You can visualize the thought attached to a cloud that is floating away or come up with your own visualization to help release your thoughts.
  5. Continue to focus on your breath, allowing yourself to become fully present in the moment.
  6. When you’re ready, slowly open your eyes and take a moment to reorient yourself before moving on with your day.

Remember, mindfulness is a practice, so don’t worry if your mind wanders. Simply bring your attention back to your breath as many times as needed.

Practice Positive Self-Talk

Negative self-talk can contribute to feelings of overwhelm and intense emotions. To combat this, try using positive self-talk. This means reframing your thoughts to be more positive, supportive, and encouraging. For example, instead of saying “I can’t do this,” try saying “I’m capable of handling this, and I’ll do my best.” This can help you feel more confident and capable, even in the face of intense emotions.

Here’s a short positive self-talk exercise:

  1. Find a quiet place where you can sit or lie down comfortably.
  2. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.
  3. Imagine a positive statement that resonates with you, such as “I am capable and worthy of love and happiness.”
  4. Repeat this statement to yourself silently, letting it sink in with each breath.
  5. As you continue to repeat the statement, imagine yourself surrounded by a warm, comforting light that supports and nurtures you.
  6. Stay with this exercise for as long as you like, letting the positive feelings and energy flow through you.
  7. When you’re ready, take a few more deep breaths and slowly open your eyes.

Remember to be kind to yourself and practice this exercise regularly to help boost your self-confidence and reduce negative self-talk.

Establish Boundaries

As a highly sensitive person, it’s important to establish boundaries in your relationships and daily life. This means saying no when you need to, and setting limits on how much time and energy you give to others. Boundaries can help prevent you from becoming overwhelmed and emotionally exhausted, allowing you to better manage your emotions and cope with intense feelings.

Let’s say you have a friend who constantly invites you to events that you don’t want to attend. You value your friendship with this person, but you also recognize that you need to take care of your own needs.

Instead of avoiding the friend’s invitations or making excuses, you can have an honest conversation with them. You might say something like, “Hey, I appreciate your invitations to events, but I’ve realized that I need to prioritize my own self-care and sometimes that means saying no to social gatherings. I hope you can understand and respect that.”

Setting this boundary can help you feel more empowered in your relationships by speaking your truth and prevent feelings of resentment or burnout.

Image by Almeida from Pixabay

Engage in Self-Care

Self-care is an essential component of managing intense emotions as a highly sensitive person. This means taking the time to engage in activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul. Examples of self-care activities include taking a bath, going for a walk in nature, journaling, practicing yoga or meditation, and spending time with loved ones. Self-care can help you feel more grounded and centered, and can give you the strength and resilience to navigate intense emotions.

As highly sensitive people, it’s important to take care of ourselves and our sensory experiences. This exercise is designed to help you ground yourself and engage your senses to soothe and calm your mind.

  1. Find a comfortable, quiet place where you won’t be interrupted.
  2. Take a few deep breaths and close your eyes.
  3. Begin to focus on your senses. What do you see around you? What do you hear? What do you smell? What do you feel physically?
  4. Name five things you see around you. For example, “I see a blue wall, a picture frame, a lamp, a plant, and a book.”
  5. Name four things you can physically feel. For example, “I feel the weight of my body on the chair, the texture of my shirt, the temperature of the room, and the pressure of my feet on the ground.”
  6. Name three things you can hear. For example, “I hear the sound of the wind outside, the clock ticking, and the hum of the air conditioner.”
  7. Name two things you can smell. For example, “I smell the scent of my lavender candle and the aroma of my tea.”
  8. Name one thing you can taste. For example, “I taste the sweetness of my favorite chocolate.”
  9. Take a few deep breaths and slowly open your eyes.

By engaging your senses, you can ground yourself in the present moment and feel more connected to your surroundings. This exercise can be done anywhere and anytime you need to feel more grounded and centered. Remember, taking care of yourself is a priority, especially as a highly sensitive person.

Seek Professional Support

Finally, seeking professional support from a Vancouver counsellor who specializes in working with highly sensitive people can be incredibly beneficial. A counsellor can help you develop coping strategies, establish boundaries, and work through any underlying issues that may be contributing to your intense emotions. They can also provide a safe space for you to process your emotions and feel heard and seen as a highly sensitive person. You can book an online complimentary session with a clinical counsellor at Constellations Counselling today.

In conclusion, managing intense emotions as a highly sensitive person can be a challenging task, but it is possible with the right coping techniques and support. By practicing mindfulness, using positive self-talk, establishing boundaries, engaging in self-care, and seeking professional support from a Vancouver counsellor, you can learn to navigate your emotions in a healthy and productive way. Remember that you are not alone, and that it’s okay to reach out for help when you need it. Constellations Counselling is here to support you in your journey towards emotional wellness as a highly sensitive person.

5 Strategies for Managing Overstimulation as a Highly Sensitive Person

As a highly sensitive person, the world can be overwhelming at times. Loud noises, bright lights, and large crowds can all lead to feelings of overstimulation, which can quickly turn into anxiety and stress. However, there are strategies that can help you manage overstimulation and feel more grounded in your day-to-day life. Here are five strategies that can help:

Create a Safe Space: Having a safe space where you can retreat when feeling overstimulated is essential. It can be a room in your home or a quiet outdoor space where you can take a few minutes to yourself. Fill your indoor safe space with things that will soothe your senses such as soft fabrics, serene music, plants, ambient lighting, essential oils, and candles. 

Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness is a practice that involves being present in the moment and paying attention to your thoughts and feelings without judgment. It can help you become more aware of your surroundings, allowing you to notice when you are becoming overstimulated and take steps to reduce your exposure. Mindfulness practices can include meditation, deep breathing, or simply taking a few minutes to focus on your senses and surroundings.

Set Boundaries: Setting boundaries can help you avoid overstimulation. Learn to say no when you need to and limit your exposure to activities and situations that you know will trigger your sensitivity. This can involve setting limits around how much time you spend in certain environments or around certain people. For example, you may need to limit your exposure to loud noises or crowds of people, or you may need to set boundaries around how much time you spend with friends or family members who drain your energy.

Practice Self-Care: Practicing self-care is essential for highly sensitive people. Take time for yourself each day to do something you enjoy, such as reading, listening to music, or taking a relaxing bath. Cleaning and de-cluttering your space, learning something new, practicing your coping skills, eating healthy foods, staying hydrated, and going to counselling are also considered self-care. By taking care of your own needs, you will feel more balanced and less likely to become overstimulated.

Seek Support: Finally, seeking support from a counsellor who specializes in working with highly sensitive people can be beneficial. They can help you develop strategies to manage overstimulation and provide you with tools to build resilience and confidence. Some tools include reframing negative thoughts, practicing gratitude, or practicing self-compassion to help shift your perspective.

By implementing these strategies, highly sensitive people can better manage overstimulation and feel more in control of their experiences. With the guidance and support of a Vancouver counsellor, highly sensitive individuals can learn to build resilience and cope with the challenges that come with their unique sensitivity. Counsellors at Constellations Counselling can help you create your own HSP toolbox filled with skills that will help you bloom in the world as a highly sensitive person. 

When Feeling Overwhelmed Practice The One

When it all feels like too much, slow down and shift your focus.

Focus on one day at a time.

If that is too much, focus on one hour at a time.

If it is still too much, focus on one minute at a time.

And if that minute feels like a lot, focus on one breath at a time. ⁠

Put your hands over your heart and know that you are doing your best in this overwhelming moment. ⁠

⁠Breathe in deeply and feel your belly rise. ⁠

Breathe out and feel your belly descend. ⁠

Breathe in. ⁠

Breathe out. ⁠

In.⁠

Out. ⁠

In.⁠

Out.⁠

Constellations Counselling is a team of Registered Clinical Counsellors and Art Therapists located in Vancouver, BC.

Mini Mindfulness Breaks

Taking breaks throughout your day is good for your mental, emotional, and physical well-being.  If you need some ideas, I made a handout filled with common mindfulness activities that are quick and easy.  Try them all out or find a favourite and incorporate it into your daily schedule to give your mind, body, and heart a much needed break.

Mindful Minibreak

Download a PDF copy: Mindful Minibreak