Constellations Counselling

April 27, 2023April 19, 2023

Exploring the Intersection of Highly Sensitive People and Mental Health: Common Challenges and Coping Strategies

As a Vancouver counsellor who works with highly sensitive people, I’ve noticed there is a strong connection between being highly sensitive and experiencing mental health challenges. While being highly sensitive is a unique and valuable trait, it can also make us more susceptible to stress, anxiety, and other mental health concerns. In this blog post, we will explore the intersection of highly sensitive people and mental health, and discuss some common challenges and coping strategies.

The Link Between Highly Sensitive People and Mental Health

Highly sensitive people may be more prone to mental health challenges due to their heightened emotional awareness and sensitivity to the world around them. This sensitivity can make us more vulnerable to stress, anxiety, and depression. Additionally, our tendency to feel deeply and take on the emotions of others can lead to emotional exhaustion and burnout.

Common Challenges for Highly Sensitive People

Here are some common mental health challenges that highly sensitive people may face:

Anxiety: Highly sensitive people may be more prone to anxiety due to our tendency to overthink and analyze situations. We may worry excessively about the future and have difficulty letting go of negative thoughts.

Depression: Highly sensitive people may also be more susceptible to depression due to our tendency to feel deeply and take on the emotions of others. We may feel overwhelmed by the suffering in the world and struggle with feelings of sadness or hopelessness.

Burnout: Highly sensitive people may experience burnout due to our tendency to take on too much responsibility and neglect our own needs. We may struggle with setting boundaries and saying no, leading to exhaustion and feelings of overwhelm.

Coping Strategies for Highly Sensitive People

While being highly sensitive can pose challenges for our mental health, there are many coping strategies that can help us manage our emotions and build resilience. Here are a few:

Self-Care: It’s important for highly sensitive people to prioritize self-care and make time for activities that recharge us. This could include things like meditation, yoga, or spending time in nature.

Boundaries: Highly sensitive people will benefit from setting clear boundaries with others and learning to say no. This can help us avoid overcommitting ourselves and experiencing burnout.

Mindfulness: Practicing mindfulness can help highly sensitive people become more aware of our thoughts and emotions, and learn to respond to them in a more balanced way. This could include things like meditation, deep breathing, or yoga.

Therapy: Working with a clinical counsellor who understands the unique challenges of being a highly sensitive person can be incredibly helpful. A clinical counsellor can help us explore our emotions and develop coping strategies that work for us.

Example Scenario: Coping with Anxiety as a Highly Sensitive Person

Imagine that you are a highly sensitive person who struggles with anxiety. You often worry about the future and have difficulty letting go of negative thoughts. Here are some coping strategies that could help you manage your anxiety:

Self-Care: Taking care of yourself is important, especially when dealing with anxiety. Engage in activities that help you feel relaxed and recharged. This could be anything from taking a walk in nature, to soothing your senses and soaking in a warm bath, or even practicing yoga. Whatever it is that makes you feel calm and centered, make time for it regularly.

Boundaries: Setting boundaries with others and learning to say no when you need to is essential for managing anxiety. It’s important to avoid overcommitting yourself, which can lead to feeling overwhelmed and anxious. Remember, it’s okay to put yourself first and take care of your needs.

Mindfulness: Mindfulness is a powerful tool that can help you become more aware of your thoughts and emotions. By practicing mindfulness techniques like deep breathing or meditation, you can learn to respond to your anxiety in a more balanced way. You can start by simply noticing your thoughts without judgment, and then gradually shifting your focus to your breath or physical sensations.

Therapy: Seeking the help of a Vancouver clinical counsellor who understands the unique challenges of being a highly sensitive person can be incredibly helpful. A clinical counsellor can help you explore your anxiety and develop coping strategies that work for you. They can provide a safe space for you to process your emotions and work through any underlying issues that may be contributing to your anxiety.

For example, a client could be struggling with anxiety related to work and feeling overwhelmed. This client could also be having difficulty letting go of negative thoughts about their performance. Through counselling, we would work on developing strategies to manage their anxiety, such as setting boundaries with coworkers and practicing self-compassion. We would also explore past experiences and how they were impacting their current anxiety. Through this work, a client could meet their goal of feeling more empowered and confident in their ability to cope with their anxiety.

Remember, coping with anxiety as a highly sensitive person is a process that takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself and know that it’s okay to ask for help. By prioritizing self-care, setting boundaries, practicing mindfulness, and seeking the help of a counsellor, you can learn to manage your anxiety and live a more fulfilling life. At Constellations Counselling, we are dedicated to providing a safe and supportive environment for highly sensitive individuals to explore their mental health challenges and develop effective coping strategies.

In conclusion, being a highly sensitive person can present unique challenges when it comes to mental health. However, with awareness and effective coping strategies, it is possible to manage these challenges and thrive. Whether it’s practicing self-compassion, setting boundaries, seeking support from loved ones, or working with a mental health professional, there are many ways to take care of our emotional and psychological well-being as highly sensitive individuals. Remember, being highly sensitive is not a weakness, but a strength that can help us navigate the world with greater empathy, insight, and resilience.

April 25, 2023April 19, 2023

From Self-Criticism to Self-Compassion: Overcoming Shame as a Highly Sensitive Person

As highly sensitive people, we are often prone to feelings of shame and self-criticism. We may feel like we don’t fit in with the “normal” world, or that we are too emotional or too sensitive. These feelings can be overwhelming and can hold us back from reaching our full potential. However, with self-compassion, we can learn to overcome shame and move towards a more positive and fulfilling life.

What is Self-Compassion?

Self-compassion is the act of treating ourselves with the same kindness, concern, and understanding that we would offer to a good friend. It involves acknowledging our feelings and struggles without judgment or criticism, and recognizing that we are human and imperfect. Self-compassion allows us to be kind to ourselves, even when we make mistakes or encounter difficult situations.

The Difference between Self-Compassion and Self-Esteem

Many people confuse self-compassion with self-esteem, but they are actually two different concepts. While self-esteem focuses on our sense of self-worth and value, self-compassion emphasizes our ability to be kind and understanding towards ourselves, even when we don’t feel worthy or valuable. In fact, self-compassion can actually lead to greater self-esteem by helping us feel more confident and resilient.

Why Self-Compassion is Important for Highly Sensitive People

Highly sensitive people may be more prone to self-criticism and shame due to their heightened emotional awareness and sensitivity to the world around them. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy or a sense of not measuring up to societal norms. However, with self-compassion, we can learn to accept ourselves for who we are, and to recognize that our sensitivity is a valuable trait.

Brene Brown, a renowned researcher and author, believes that shame can be overcome through empathy and self-compassion. She argues that we must learn to be kind and gentle with ourselves, treating ourselves with the same empathy and understanding that we offer to others. Highly sensitive people’s strengths include being empathetic and compassionate. To further these strengths, highly sensitive people need to learn to direct those strengths inward. By embracing our own imperfections and practicing self-compassion, we can break free from the cycle of shame and move towards a more positive and fulfilling life.

Three Steps to Overcoming Shame with Self-Compassion

Mindfulness: The first step in developing self-compassion is to become more mindful of our thoughts and feelings. We can practice mindfulness by simply noticing our thoughts and feelings without judgment or criticism. This can help us become more aware of our negative self-talk and the ways in which we may be contributing to our own shame.

Self-Kindness: Once we become more mindful, we can begin to practice self-kindness. This involves treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we would offer to a good friend. We can do this by using positive self-talk and affirmations, and by practicing self-care and self-compassion exercises.

Common Humanity: Finally, it is important to remember that we are not alone in our struggles. All humans experience shame and self-doubt at times, and by recognizing our shared humanity, we can feel less isolated and more connected to others. This can help us feel more compassion towards ourselves and others, and can lead to greater resilience and emotional well-being.

Example Scenario: Overcoming Shame through Self-Compassion

Imagine that you are a highly sensitive person who has recently made a mistake at work. You are feeling overwhelmed and ashamed, and are struggling to move past the mistake. Here’s how you can use self-compassion to overcome these feelings:

Mindfulness: Take a few moments to simply notice your thoughts and feelings. Acknowledge the shame and self-criticism that you are experiencing, but try not to judge or criticize yourself further.

Self-Kindness: Offer yourself words of kindness and understanding, such as “I am only human, and it’s okay to make mistakes.” Practice self-care by taking a break or doing something you enjoy, and remind yourself of your strengths and positive qualities.

Common Humanity: Remember that all humans make mistakes and experience shame at times. You are not alone in your struggles, and by recognizing your shared humanity, you can feel more connected to others.

In conclusion, overcoming shame and self-criticism is a crucial step towards achieving a more positive and fulfilling life as a highly sensitive person. Self-compassion allows us to be kind to ourselves, even when we make mistakes or encounter difficult situations. By practicing mindfulness, self-kindness, and recognizing our common humanity, we can move towards a more positive and accepting relationship with ourselves. As a Vancouver counsellor at Constellations Counselling, I encourage highly sensitive individuals to embrace self-compassion as a powerful tool for overcoming shame and achieving emotional well-being. Remember, we are all human and imperfect, and that is okay.

April 21, 2023April 19, 2023

Understanding the Strengths and Struggles of Highly Sensitive People in Relationships

As highly sensitive people, we experience the world differently than others, which can impact our relationships. We have unique strengths and struggles that can make it challenging to find partners who truly understand us. However, once we learn to embrace our sensitivity and communicate our needs, we can build fulfilling relationships.

One of the strengths of highly sensitive people is our ability to deeply connect with others. We have a heightened sensitivity to the emotions of those around us, which can help us create meaningful bonds with our partners. We are also often very empathetic and compassionate, which can make us excellent listeners and supportive partners.

However, this sensitivity can also be a struggle in relationships. We may feel overwhelmed by the emotions of our partners, leading to emotional exhaustion or burnout. We may also be more prone to anxiety or depression in the face of conflict or criticism. It is important for us to set emotional boundaries and practice self-care to protect ourselves from emotional overload.

Another strength of highly sensitive people is our attentiveness to detail. We often notice small things that others overlook, which can make us thoughtful and considerate partners. We are also very in tune with our own emotions, which can help us navigate the ups and downs of relationships with self-awareness and self-reflection.

However, this attentiveness can also be a struggle in relationships. We may become hyper-focused on the flaws or shortcomings of our partners, leading to nitpicking or criticism. It is important for us to practice gratitude and focus on the positive aspects of our relationships, rather than getting caught up in negative patterns of thinking.

One way that the needs of highly sensitive people differ in relationships is our need for downtime and solitude. While other people may thrive on constant social interaction, highly sensitive people often need time alone to recharge and process our emotions. This can be challenging for partners who may feel neglected or rejected when we withdraw.

Highly sensitive people often require a certain amount of alone time to recharge after social interactions. This can include time spent on hobbies, reading, or just relaxing. While this need for solitude is an essential aspect of self-care for highly sensitive people, it can be difficult for their partners to understand.

For example, let’s say that a highly sensitive person, named Harper, has been out all day with her partner and a group of friends. She is feeling overwhelmed and drained from the constant stimulation and social interaction. When they return home, Harper expresses to her partner that she needs some alone time to unwind and recharge. Her partner, who is not highly sensitive, may not understand this need for solitude and feel hurt or rejected.

In this scenario, it’s essential for Harper to communicate her need for alone time clearly and kindly. She can explain to her partner that it’s not about rejecting them, but about taking care of her own needs so that she can be present and engaged in the relationship. It’s also helpful for her to set clear expectations around the amount of alone time she needs and when she will be available for social interaction.

In the long run, understanding and respecting each other’s needs for downtime and solitude can strengthen the relationship. When highly sensitive people feel supported in their need for self-care, they are more likely to feel secure and able to fully engage in the relationship when they are together with their partner.

Another way that the needs of highly sensitive people differ in relationships is our deep need for clear communication and boundaries. We may feel overwhelmed by ambiguity or uncertainty in our relationships, leading to anxiety or insecurity. We may also have a hard time saying no or setting limits, leading to feelings of resentment or burnout.

An example scenario of this situation might be a highly sensitive person who is in a relationship with someone who is more spontaneous and less organized. The highly sensitive person may feel anxious and uncertain when their partner does not communicate plans or changes in plans clearly, leading to feelings of insecurity and frustration. On the other hand, the less sensitive partner may feel that the highly sensitive person is too rigid and inflexible in their need for clear communication and boundaries.

To address this, the highly sensitive person can express their need for clear communication and ask their partner to be more proactive in sharing information and plans. They can also set boundaries around their time and energy by scheduling regular downtime and communicating their availability to their partner. By setting these boundaries, the highly sensitive person can create a sense of predictability and stability in the relationship, which can ultimately lead to a more secure and satisfying connection for both partners.

In addition, highly sensitive people may struggle with saying no or setting limits in relationships. They may feel pressure to accommodate their partner’s needs or prioritize the relationship over their own well-being. This can lead to feelings of resentment, burnout, or even physical exhaustion.

To address this, highly sensitive people can practice assertiveness and communicate their boundaries clearly and respectfully. They can explain that they need to prioritize their own self-care in order to be present and engaged in the relationship. For example, they can set limits around the amount of time they spend socializing or engaging in activities that are emotionally draining. By doing so, they can create a healthier and more balanced dynamic in the relationship, where both partners’ needs are acknowledged and respected.

Overall, highly sensitive people have unique strengths and struggles in relationships. By embracing our sensitivity and communicating our needs, we can build fulfilling and meaningful partnerships. It is important for us to set emotional boundaries, focus on the positive aspects of our relationships, practice self-care, and communicate our needs and boundaries clearly with our partners. The Vancouver counsellors at Constellations Counselling have experience working with highly sensitive people in relationships and can offer support and guidance for navigating these challenges.

April 19, 2023April 19, 2023

The Power of Boundaries: Setting Limits for Self-Care as a Highly Sensitive Person

As a highly sensitive person, it can be easy to become overwhelmed by external stimuli and the demands of others which is why setting boundaries is crucial for self-care. In order to protect our emotional well-being and prevent burnout, it is important to set boundaries. But what are boundaries, and why are they so important for highly sensitive people?

Simply put, boundaries are guidelines we set for ourselves to ensure our physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing. They are an essential tool for self-care, helping us to prioritize our needs and prevent others from taking advantage of us. Think of boundaries as a fence around a garden – they keep out the things that could harm the plants, while allowing in the things that are beneficial.

For highly sensitive people, setting boundaries is particularly important. We are more likely to feel overwhelmed by external stimuli and can easily take on the emotions of others. Without boundaries, we can quickly become emotionally exhausted, leading to anxiety, depression, overwhelm, and burnout.

It can be challenging to set boundaries, especially when we don’t want to disappoint others or fear conflict. However, setting boundaries is a form of self-respect and the more you practice setting boundaries the more your self-confidence will increase.

So, how can we set effective boundaries as highly sensitive people? Here are four examples:

Saying No: For highly sensitive people, saying no can be a powerful act of self-care. It is important to recognize that we cannot do everything, and that it is okay to prioritize our own needs over the requests of others. Whether it is declining a social invitation or turning down a work project, learning to say no can help us conserve our energy and prevent emotional and physical burnout. If you have a hard time saying no, start small. Practice saying no to things that don’t align with your values or goals. Saying no doesn’t make you a bad person; it’s an act of self-respect.
Communicating Your Needs: If someone is doing something that makes you uncomfortable or upset, speak up. Let them know how you feel and what you need from them. This can be a challenging conversation, but it’s essential to establish healthy communication and maintain healthy relationships. An example of communicating your needs would sound like this: “Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something that’s been on my mind. It makes me feel uncomfortable and self-conscious when you constantly make jokes about my appearance. I want to let you know that I would appreciate it if you could stop making those kinds of comments. I hope you can understand where I’m coming from and respect my feelings.”
Limiting Screen Time: In our digital age, it can be easy to become overwhelmed by constant notifications, emails, and social media updates. As highly sensitive people, it is important to recognize the impact that excessive screen time can have on our mental and emotional health. Setting limits on our use of technology can help us to disconnect and recharge, reducing our stress levels and improving our overall well-being.
Setting Emotional Boundaries: As highly sensitive people, we are often more attuned to the emotions of others. While empathy can be a valuable trait, it is important to recognize when we are taking on the emotions of others to our own detriment. By setting emotional boundaries, we can learn to separate our own emotions from those of others and protect ourselves from emotional overload. For instance, when you are already feeling emotionally drained or overwhelmed, your friend might come to you regularly to vent about their problems. While you want to be there for them, you may find that their emotional load is affecting your own well-being. You could set an emotional boundary by letting your friend know that you need some space and cannot provide emotional support at the moment. This can help you avoid taking on their emotional burden and ensure that you are taking care of yourself first.

Of course, setting boundaries is not always easy. It can be challenging to say no to loved ones or to enforce limits on our own behavior. However, by recognizing the importance of boundaries for our own well-being, we can begin to prioritize them in our lives.

In addition to the four examples above, there are many other ways to set boundaries as a highly sensitive person. Whether it is setting limits on work hours, creating a quiet space for meditation and relaxation, or simply taking time to yourself each day, there are countless ways to prioritize self-care through boundary setting.

If you are struggling to set effective boundaries as a highly sensitive person, it may be helpful to work with a counsellor who specializes in this area. At Constellations Counselling in Vancouver, we understand the challenges that come with being a highly sensitive person. Our compassionate counsellors can help you learn practical strategies for setting boundaries and taking care of yourself. Contact us today to book a session.

In conclusion, setting boundaries is an essential tool for self-care, particularly for highly sensitive people. By learning to say no, communicating your needs, limiting screen time, and setting emotional boundaries, we can protect our mental and emotional well-being and prevent emotional and physical overwhelm. Remember, setting boundaries is not selfish. It’s an act of self-love and self-care. By setting healthy boundaries, you’re taking responsibility for your own wellbeing and showing others how to treat you. So, take some time to consider the boundaries that are important for you, and start putting them into practice today. Your mind and body will thank you.

April 17, 2023April 19, 2023

The Power of Counselling: Why Seeking Help is Beneficial for Everyone

Counselling can be a powerful tool for personal growth and healing, and it’s something that people of all ages and backgrounds can benefit from. Whether you’re dealing with a specific issue or simply looking to improve your overall well-being, counselling can help you gain new insights, develop new coping strategies, and cultivate greater self-awareness and resilience. Let’s explore some of the reasons why people go to counselling and the benefits they can experience from it.

Reasons for Seeking Counselling

People seek counselling for a wide range of reasons, and no two individuals are exactly alike. However, there are some common reasons why people may choose to seek counselling, including:

Anxiety and Depression: Anxiety and depression are two of the most common mental health concerns that people seek counselling for. These conditions can be debilitating, affecting our relationships, work, and overall quality of life. Counselling can help people develop coping strategies and tools to manage their symptoms, as well as explore the root causes of their anxiety or depression.

Trauma and Abuse: Trauma and abuse can have a lasting impact on our lives, affecting our ability to trust others, feel safe, and form healthy relationships. Counselling can help survivors of trauma and abuse process their experiences and develop new ways of coping and healing.

Relationship Issues: Whether it’s problems with communication, conflict, or intimacy, relationship issues can be a significant source of stress and discomfort. Counselling can help couples and individuals explore the dynamics of their relationships and develop new tools for managing conflict and improving communication.

Life Transitions: Major life transitions, such as a divorce, retirement, or the loss of a loved one, can be difficult to navigate. Counselling can help individuals adjust to these changes and explore new ways of finding meaning and purpose in their lives.

Counselling Specialization: Highly Sensitive People: Highly sensitive people often experience emotions more deeply and intensely than others, which can be overwhelming and exhausting. Counselling can help HSPs develop tools for managing their emotions and self-care techniques to avoid burnout.

Benefits of Counselling

Counselling can offer a wide range of benefits to individuals who choose to seek it out. Some people like to say counselling is like going to the gym for your mind. Just as going to the gym helps to strengthen your body, counselling helps to strengthen your mind. Through regular practice, you can develop greater mental resilience, emotional regulation, and overall well-being. Here are some of the key benefits of counselling:

Improved Self-Awareness: Counselling can help people gain a deeper understanding of their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. This increased self-awareness can help people make positive changes in their lives and develop new ways of coping with challenges. A highly sensitive person may come to counselling feeling overwhelmed and exhausted by their emotions. Through counselling, they may develop a better understanding of their unique emotional landscape and learn new tools for managing their emotions.

Greater Resilience: By learning new coping strategies and developing a deeper understanding of their own resilience, people who engage in counselling can become more resilient in the face of challenges and setbacks. A person who has experienced trauma may feel like they are constantly struggling to cope with their memories and emotions. Through counselling, they may develop new tools for managing their trauma and find a greater sense of resilience in their daily life.

Improved Communication Skills: Counselling can help people develop better communication skills, whether they are struggling with conflict in their relationships or simply want to improve their overall communication style. A couple may come to counselling because they are struggling with communication issues. Through counselling, they may learn new tools for active listening and expressing their emotions in a healthy way, leading to a stronger and more satisfying relationship.

Reduced Symptoms of Anxiety and Depression: Counselling can be an effective way to manage symptoms of anxiety and depression, helping people regain a sense of control and hope in their lives. A person who is struggling with depression may come to counselling feeling like they are stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts and emotions. With the help of a counsellor, they can work to identify the underlying causes of their depression and develop coping strategies to manage their symptoms. Through the counselling process, they may also gain a better understanding of themselves and their emotional needs, allowing them to make positive changes in their life that promote mental wellness.

Improved Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence: When we struggle with mental health issues or difficult life circumstances, it can take a toll on our self-esteem and self-confidence. Counselling can help us regain our sense of self-worth and belief in ourselves. Through counseling, we can learn to identify negative self-talk and replace it with positive self-affirmations. This can lead to a more positive self-image, increased self-confidence, and a greater sense of self-worth. For highly sensitive people, who may struggle with feelings of inadequacy or self-doubt, this can be especially beneficial.

Better Relationships with Others: Our relationships with others can greatly impact our mental health and overall well-being. Counselling can help us improve our communication skills, set healthy boundaries, and learn to relate to others in a more constructive and positive way. With the help of a counselor, we can identify patterns of behavior that may be causing conflict or contributing to relationship problems, and learn strategies to improve our relationships. This can lead to more fulfilling and satisfying connections with others.

Improved Problem-Solving Skills: Life is full of challenges and obstacles, and it can be difficult to know how to navigate them effectively. Counselling can help us develop better problem-solving skills by providing us with a safe space to explore our options and consider different perspectives. Through counselling, we can learn to identify our strengths and weaknesses, set achievable goals, and develop strategies to overcome obstacles. This can lead to a greater sense of control over our lives and an increased ability to handle challenges as they arise.

Increased Sense of Purpose and Meaning: When we feel lost or uncertain about our direction in life, it can be difficult to find a sense of purpose or meaning. Counselling can help us explore our values, beliefs, and goals, and gain a clearer understanding of what we want out of life. Through counselling, we can learn to identify our passions and interests, set achievable goals, and develop a sense of purpose and direction. This can lead to a greater sense of fulfillment and satisfaction in our lives.

Improved Stress Management: People may feel overwhelmed by the demands of daily life, leading to high levels of stress. Through counselling, they can learn effective stress management techniques to help them cope with the challenges of daily life. These may include time management strategies, relaxation techniques, and mindfulness practices.

Greater Self-acceptance for Highly Sensitive People: HSPs may feel misunderstood or like they don’t fit in with society’s expectations. Through counselling, they can learn to accept and embrace their sensitivity as a valuable trait. This can help them feel more confident and empowered in their daily lives.

Increased Overall Well-Being: By addressing mental health challenges and developing effective coping strategies, people can improve their overall sense of well-being. They may experience greater happiness, fulfillment, and a sense of purpose in their lives.

Possible Case Examples

Ella is a highly sensitive person who struggles with anxiety. Through counselling, she learns effective coping strategies such as deep breathing, mindfulness, and setting boundaries. She also learns to reframe her negative thoughts and beliefs, which helps her manage her anxiety more effectively. With the support and guidance of her counsellor, Ella is able to develop a greater sense of self-awareness and self-compassion, which improves her overall well-being.

Sam is a highly sensitive person who has experienced depression for much of their life. They often feel overwhelmed by their emotions and struggles with self-doubt and low self-esteem. Through counselling, Sam is able to explore the root causes of their depression and develop a deeper understanding of their thoughts and behaviors. Sam’s counsellor helps them identify their strengths and develop a plan for achieving their goals. With the support and guidance of their counsellor, Sam is able to develop greater self-esteem and confidence, which leads to a more fulfilling and enjoyable life.

David is an older man who has experienced trauma in his past. He often feels overwhelmed by his emotions and struggles with trust and intimacy in his relationships. Through counselling, David is able to process his trauma in a safe and supportive environment. His counsellor helps him develop coping skills to manage his emotions and teaches him how to communicate effectively with his loved ones. Over time, David is able to develop stronger and more fulfilling relationships and experiences a greater sense of peace and healing.

At Constellations Counselling, we believe that it is essential to understand that the counselling process, like the healing process, is not linear, and it takes time. A client may come to a counselling session with a particular challenge in mind, only to discover that there are other underlying issues that require attention as well. Sometimes, what appears to be a surface-level problem may reveal more profound emotional wounds that need to be addressed. Our counsellors are trained to work with clients to explore their feelings, thoughts, and behaviors in a safe and non-judgmental space. Our counsellors always respect your need to move at a pace that makes you feel safe and comfortable. You can think of counselling like having a personal guide on your life journey. Just as a guide can help you navigate unfamiliar terrain and avoid obstacles, a counsellor can help you navigate the challenges of daily life. They can provide insight, support, and guidance as you traverse your path.

Overall, counselling can offer numerous benefits for individuals, who are HSPs or non-HSPs, seeking to improve their mental health and well-being. Whether you are struggling with a specific issue or simply seeking greater self-awareness and personal growth, counselling can provide you with the tools and support you need to achieve your goals. By working with a trained Registered Clinical Counsellor, you can develop a deeper understanding of yourself, overcome obstacles, and create a more fulfilling and satisfying life. As a highly sensitive person, counseling can be especially beneficial in helping you navigate the unique challenges and opportunities of your sensitivity. At Constellations Counselling in Vancouver, BC, we offer a safe and supportive space for individuals seeking to improve their mental health and well-being. Contact us today to book a complimentary consultation.

April 13, 2023April 19, 2023

Navigating Intense Emotions: Coping Techniques for Highly Sensitive People

As a highly sensitive person, navigating intense emotions can be a challenging task. The world can often feel overwhelming, and it’s easy to become swept up in a flood of feelings that seem impossible to manage. However, there are coping techniques that can help you manage your emotions and navigate your way through even the most intense feelings. In this blog, we’ll explore some of those techniques and how they can help you cope as a highly sensitive person.

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a technique that involves paying attention to the present moment without judgment. When you’re feeling overwhelmed with intense emotions, it can be helpful to take a step back and focus on your breath. This can help you become more grounded and centered, allowing you to gain perspective on your emotions. Mindfulness can also help you notice when your emotions are starting to become too much for you to handle, giving you the opportunity to take a break and practice self-care.

Here is a short mindfulness exercise you can try:

Find a comfortable and quiet place where you won’t be disturbed for a few minutes.
Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth.
Bring your attention to your breath, noticing the sensation of the air moving in and out of your body.
As you focus on your breath, thoughts may arise. This is natural and normal. Simply acknowledge them and let them pass without judgment or attachment. You can visualize the thought attached to a cloud that is floating away or come up with your own visualization to help release your thoughts.
Continue to focus on your breath, allowing yourself to become fully present in the moment.
When you’re ready, slowly open your eyes and take a moment to reorient yourself before moving on with your day.

Remember, mindfulness is a practice, so don’t worry if your mind wanders. Simply bring your attention back to your breath as many times as needed.

Practice Positive Self-Talk

Negative self-talk can contribute to feelings of overwhelm and intense emotions. To combat this, try using positive self-talk. This means reframing your thoughts to be more positive, supportive, and encouraging. For example, instead of saying “I can’t do this,” try saying “I’m capable of handling this, and I’ll do my best.” This can help you feel more confident and capable, even in the face of intense emotions.

Here’s a short positive self-talk exercise:

Find a quiet place where you can sit or lie down comfortably.
Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.
Imagine a positive statement that resonates with you, such as “I am capable and worthy of love and happiness.”
Repeat this statement to yourself silently, letting it sink in with each breath.
As you continue to repeat the statement, imagine yourself surrounded by a warm, comforting light that supports and nurtures you.
Stay with this exercise for as long as you like, letting the positive feelings and energy flow through you.
When you’re ready, take a few more deep breaths and slowly open your eyes.

Remember to be kind to yourself and practice this exercise regularly to help boost your self-confidence and reduce negative self-talk.

Establish Boundaries

As a highly sensitive person, it’s important to establish boundaries in your relationships and daily life. This means saying no when you need to, and setting limits on how much time and energy you give to others. Boundaries can help prevent you from becoming overwhelmed and emotionally exhausted, allowing you to better manage your emotions and cope with intense feelings.

Let’s say you have a friend who constantly invites you to events that you don’t want to attend. You value your friendship with this person, but you also recognize that you need to take care of your own needs.

Instead of avoiding the friend’s invitations or making excuses, you can have an honest conversation with them. You might say something like, “Hey, I appreciate your invitations to events, but I’ve realized that I need to prioritize my own self-care and sometimes that means saying no to social gatherings. I hope you can understand and respect that.”

Setting this boundary can help you feel more empowered in your relationships by speaking your truth and prevent feelings of resentment or burnout.

Engage in Self-Care

Self-care is an essential component of managing intense emotions as a highly sensitive person. This means taking the time to engage in activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul. Examples of self-care activities include taking a bath, going for a walk in nature, journaling, practicing yoga or meditation, and spending time with loved ones. Self-care can help you feel more grounded and centered, and can give you the strength and resilience to navigate intense emotions.

As highly sensitive people, it’s important to take care of ourselves and our sensory experiences. This exercise is designed to help you ground yourself and engage your senses to soothe and calm your mind.

Find a comfortable, quiet place where you won’t be interrupted.
Take a few deep breaths and close your eyes.
Begin to focus on your senses. What do you see around you? What do you hear? What do you smell? What do you feel physically?
Name five things you see around you. For example, “I see a blue wall, a picture frame, a lamp, a plant, and a book.”
Name four things you can physically feel. For example, “I feel the weight of my body on the chair, the texture of my shirt, the temperature of the room, and the pressure of my feet on the ground.”
Name three things you can hear. For example, “I hear the sound of the wind outside, the clock ticking, and the hum of the air conditioner.”
Name two things you can smell. For example, “I smell the scent of my lavender candle and the aroma of my tea.”
Name one thing you can taste. For example, “I taste the sweetness of my favorite chocolate.”
Take a few deep breaths and slowly open your eyes.

By engaging your senses, you can ground yourself in the present moment and feel more connected to your surroundings. This exercise can be done anywhere and anytime you need to feel more grounded and centered. Remember, taking care of yourself is a priority, especially as a highly sensitive person.

Seek Professional Support

Finally, seeking professional support from a Vancouver counsellor who specializes in working with highly sensitive people can be incredibly beneficial. A counsellor can help you develop coping strategies, establish boundaries, and work through any underlying issues that may be contributing to your intense emotions. They can also provide a safe space for you to process your emotions and feel heard and seen as a highly sensitive person. You can book an online complimentary session with a clinical counsellor at Constellations Counselling today.

In conclusion, managing intense emotions as a highly sensitive person can be a challenging task, but it is possible with the right coping techniques and support. By practicing mindfulness, using positive self-talk, establishing boundaries, engaging in self-care, and seeking professional support from a Vancouver counsellor, you can learn to navigate your emotions in a healthy and productive way. Remember that you are not alone, and that it’s okay to reach out for help when you need it. Constellations Counselling is here to support you in your journey towards emotional wellness as a highly sensitive person.

April 11, 2023April 19, 2023

5 Strategies for Managing Overstimulation as a Highly Sensitive Person

As a highly sensitive person, the world can be overwhelming at times. Loud noises, bright lights, and large crowds can all lead to feelings of overstimulation, which can quickly turn into anxiety and stress. However, there are strategies that can help you manage overstimulation and feel more grounded in your day-to-day life. Here are five strategies that can help:

Create a Safe Space: Having a safe space where you can retreat when feeling overstimulated is essential. It can be a room in your home or a quiet outdoor space where you can take a few minutes to yourself. Fill your indoor safe space with things that will soothe your senses such as soft fabrics, serene music, plants, ambient lighting, essential oils, and candles.

Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness is a practice that involves being present in the moment and paying attention to your thoughts and feelings without judgment. It can help you become more aware of your surroundings, allowing you to notice when you are becoming overstimulated and take steps to reduce your exposure. Mindfulness practices can include meditation, deep breathing, or simply taking a few minutes to focus on your senses and surroundings.

Set Boundaries: Setting boundaries can help you avoid overstimulation. Learn to say no when you need to and limit your exposure to activities and situations that you know will trigger your sensitivity. This can involve setting limits around how much time you spend in certain environments or around certain people. For example, you may need to limit your exposure to loud noises or crowds of people, or you may need to set boundaries around how much time you spend with friends or family members who drain your energy.

Practice Self-Care: Practicing self-care is essential for highly sensitive people. Take time for yourself each day to do something you enjoy, such as reading, listening to music, or taking a relaxing bath. Cleaning and de-cluttering your space, learning something new, practicing your coping skills, eating healthy foods, staying hydrated, and going to counselling are also considered self-care. By taking care of your own needs, you will feel more balanced and less likely to become overstimulated.

Seek Support: Finally, seeking support from a counsellor who specializes in working with highly sensitive people can be beneficial. They can help you develop strategies to manage overstimulation and provide you with tools to build resilience and confidence. Some tools include reframing negative thoughts, practicing gratitude, or practicing self-compassion to help shift your perspective.

By implementing these strategies, highly sensitive people can better manage overstimulation and feel more in control of their experiences. With the guidance and support of a Vancouver counsellor, highly sensitive individuals can learn to build resilience and cope with the challenges that come with their unique sensitivity. Counsellors at Constellations Counselling can help you create your own HSP toolbox filled with skills that will help you bloom in the world as a highly sensitive person.

Image by nini kvaratskhelia from Pixabay

April 7, 2023April 19, 2023

Mastering Time Management: The Highly Sensitive Person’s Guide to Using the Eisenhower Matrix

As a highly sensitive person, it can be difficult to balance the many demands of life. We often feel overwhelmed by the never-ending to-do list and struggle to prioritize what truly matters. That’s where the Eisenhower’s Urgent/Important Matrix comes in. Developed by former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower, this time management tool can help us identify and prioritize tasks based on their urgency and importance.

The matrix is divided into four quadrants:

Important and Urgent: Tasks that require immediate attention and have significant consequences if not completed. Examples include a medical emergency or a work deadline.
Important but Not Urgent: Tasks that are important but do not require immediate attention. Examples include planning for the future, setting long-term goals, or self-care activities like exercise or meditation.
Urgent but Not Important: Tasks that are not important in the grand scheme of things but require immediate attention. Examples include answering non-urgent emails, phone calls, or attending unnecessary meetings.
Not Important and Not Urgent: Tasks that are neither important nor urgent. Examples include mindless social media scrolling, binge-watching TV shows, or other time-wasting activities.

The goal is to focus on the important tasks and minimize or delegate the ones that are not important. Here are some pros and cons of using the Eisenhower Matrix:

Pros:

Helps us prioritize our tasks and manage our time effectively.
Increases our productivity and efficiency.
Reduces stress and overwhelm by breaking down our to-do list into manageable chunks.
Helps us identify long-term goals and work towards them.

Cons:

Can be difficult to categorize tasks accurately, especially when it comes to determining importance.
Can be rigid and inflexible, leading to a lack of spontaneity or creativity.
May not work for everyone, as some people prefer a more intuitive or flexible approach to time management.
Can lead to neglecting the less urgent but still important tasks, such as self-care or relationships.

As a Vancouver counsellor, I often recommend the Eisenhower Matrix as a place to start to my highly sensitive clients who struggle with overwhelm and anxiety. Here are some tips for using the matrix effectively:

Start by listing all of your tasks in one place. This can be a physical planner, a digital to-do list, or even a simple piece of paper.
Categorize each task based on its urgency and importance. Be honest with yourself and avoid the temptation to categorize everything as urgent.
Focus on the tasks in the Important and Urgent quadrant first. These are the tasks that require immediate attention and have significant consequences if not completed.
Once the Important and Urgent tasks are completed, move on to the Important but Not Urgent quadrant. These are the tasks that will help you achieve your long-term goals and improve your overall well-being.
Minimize or delegate tasks in the Urgent but Not Important quadrant. These tasks are often time-wasters that do not contribute to your overall success or happiness.
Avoid tasks in the Not Important and Not Urgent quadrant as much as possible. These are the activities that distract us from our goals and drain our energy.

In conclusion, the Eisenhower’s Urgent/Important Matrix is a valuable tool for highly sensitive people who struggle with task paralysis and overwhelm. By prioritizing tasks based on their urgency and importance, we can manage our time effectively and achieve our goals while maintaining our mental health. As a counsellor in Vancouver, I highly recommend this tool to anyone who wants to improve their productivity and reduce their stress levels.

April 6, 2023April 19, 2023

Overcoming Task Paralysis: Coping Strategies for Highly Sensitive People from a Vancouver Counsellor

Have you ever found yourself staring at a to-do list, feeling overwhelmed and unable to start any of the tasks on it? Do you struggle to prioritize and make decisions, feeling stuck in a cycle of indecision and procrastination? If so, you may be experiencing task paralysis, a common challenge that many of us face in our daily lives.

As a Vancouver counsellor, I have worked with many clients who struggle with task paralysis, especially those who identify as highly sensitive people. Highly sensitive people are often deeply attuned to their environments and emotions, and can easily become overwhelmed by the demands of daily life. This can lead to a sense of paralysis and a feeling of being unable to move forward.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Task paralysis is a common challenge that many people face, and there are ways to deal with it. Here are some strategies that can help:

Break tasks down into smaller steps.

One of the most effective ways to overcome task paralysis is to break down larger tasks into smaller, more manageable steps. This can help you to focus on one thing at a time, rather than feeling overwhelmed by the big picture. For example, if you’re struggling to write a report for work, break it down into smaller tasks such as researching, outlining, and drafting.

Prioritize tasks based on importance and urgency.

Another helpful strategy is to prioritize tasks based on their importance and urgency. This can help you to focus on the most pressing tasks first, rather than getting bogged down by less important tasks. Use tools like Eisenhower’s Urgent/Important Matrix to help you prioritize effectively.

Set realistic goals and deadlines.

Setting realistic goals and deadlines can also help you to overcome task paralysis. Be honest with yourself about what you can realistically accomplish in a given amount of time, and break tasks down into smaller chunks to make them more achievable. Give yourself enough time to complete each task, but also set a deadline to keep yourself accountable.

Get support from others.

Sometimes, task paralysis can be a sign that you need support from others. Reach out to friends, family members, or a trusted Vancouver counsellor for support and guidance. They can help you to identify patterns of behaviour and provide strategies to overcome task paralysis.

Practice self-compassion.

Finally, it’s important to practice self-compassion when dealing with task paralysis. Remember that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and stuck sometimes, and that you’re not alone in this struggle. Be kind and gentle with yourself, and focus on progress rather than perfection.

Strategies that have helped this Vancouver counsellor.

I can get overwhelmed starting tasks too. And when I feel overwhelmed by tasks, I procrastinate and avoid the tasks altogether. Everyone’s needs and strategies to handle task paralysis will be different. Here is what I have found works for me.

Start moving. If I get up and start moving my body around, then I find I can shake off that stuck feeling. It’s easier to move into tasks that require my body to move; kind of like a warm up.
Listen to music. When I put on headphones and immerse myself in upbeat music that will usually lift my mood and help motivate me to start doing something. Music is also a good distraction for me especially when the task is unpleasant. A podcast could also work as well as talking to someone on the phone. This works great for me when I have to clean.
Stay present. While doing a task, I stay in the present moment and focus on the part of the task that is in front of me. For instance, when I start doing laundry, I will focus on the first part of the task, which is sorting the darks and lights. If I catch my mind wandering to future steps, like going up and down the stairs, putting the laundry in the washing machine, and then the dryer, and then folding, and so on I will bring my mind back to the present moment.
Committing to Start. This one requires an internal push and can be more difficult if you are feeling frozen. I find this works best when I’m wavering. To stop wavering, I make a decision to commit. I commit to starting the task and do not let my mind talk me out of it. If I notice my mind wanting to quit, I say no and allow my actions to keep completing the task.

In conclusion, task paralysis is a common challenge that many of us face in our daily lives. However, there are strategies that can help you to overcome it. By breaking tasks down into smaller steps, prioritizing based on importance and urgency, setting realistic goals and deadlines, getting support from others, and practicing self-compassion, you can overcome task paralysis and move forward with greater ease and clarity. As a Vancouver counsellor, I’m here to support you on this journey. Remember that you’re not alone, and that with the right tools and support, you can overcome task paralysis and achieve your goals.

Read the next post: Mastering Time Management: The Highly Sensitive Person’s Guide to Using the Eisenhower Matrix

February 18, 2023April 19, 2023

When Feeling Overwhelmed Practice The One

When it all feels like too much, slow down and shift your focus.

Focus on one day at a time.

If that is too much, focus on one hour at a time.

If it is still too much, focus on one minute at a time.

And if that minute feels like a lot, focus on one breath at a time. ⁠
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Put your hands over your heart and know that you are doing your best in this overwhelming moment. ⁠

⁠Breathe in deeply and feel your belly rise. ⁠
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Breathe out and feel your belly descend. ⁠
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Breathe in. ⁠
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Breathe out. ⁠
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In.⁠
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Out. ⁠
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In.⁠
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Out.⁠