Constellations Counselling

June 18, 2018June 18, 2018

What happens in my first therapy session?

Is not knowing exactly what happens in your first counselling session causing some anxiety? Is fear keeping you from making an appointment because of uncertainty?

I’m here to assure you that although the first session can cause some rattled nerves there is nothing to be afraid of. Fear of the unknown is valid and experienced by many people.

During the first session with my clients, there is an intake process. You will fill out some paperwork that involves consent to participate in therapy and a confidentiality agreement. After you read and sign it, I check in with you to see if you have any questions. If you’re not familiar with my therapeutic approach then I tell you about how I like to work with clients. Then we move on to some questions about your medical background, current habits, concerning symptoms, and the reason you are seeking therapy.

This process can fill up the entire first session. It’s one of the most important sessions because we are getting to know each other. You’re deciding if I’m a good fit for your counselling needs and I am assessing if I can meet those needs. As a clinical counsellor I will absolutely refer clients to another practitioner if that is what the client requests or if the client’s needs are outside of my scope of practice. It would be unethical not to do so.

As a client, it’s important to feel comfortable and safe with your counsellor. A strong therapeutic relationship is essential to successful therapy outcomes. If you feel like you don’t trust or respect your counsellor, then the therapy process will not work. You also must feel safe with your counsellor and feel like you can open up to them without the fear of being judged.

The first session is just the beginning to building a strong foundation for your healing process and it vital to find a counsellor that you can connect with. The first counsellor you meet may not be a good fit for you, or even the second or third, so take your time in finding a counsellor who will hold space for you in the way you need them to.

connection-new

So consider the first session as a ‘getting to know each other’ session. Depending on the client’s needs, goals may be talked about as well as some treatment planning and resources. But mostly it’s an introduction session. If a client has been in therapy before or is in crisis, then this linear process may look a lot different.

No matter what, as a counsellor I believe it’s important to meet you where you are and then proceed from there.

See, not too scary, right?

I usually have light refreshments in my office as well so there’s that. 😊

And of course, there’s the art therapy piece of what I do but I’ll save that for my next post.

*Heather Hassenbein is a Registered Clinical Counsellor and Professional Art Therapist located in Vancouver, BC.

June 1, 2018

What is art therapy? Why should I try it?

Art Therapy is a therapeutic modality that involves an art therapist and client working with the creative art making process to support a client’s physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Working with the creative process allows people to reach deeper levels of healing that talk therapy alone cannot always do.

If you have trouble expressing yourself verbally or find yourself unable to describe your experience with words, then working with art can help you express yourself without the use of words. Studies have shown how trauma impacts the verbal language area of the brain making it difficult to use or even find the right words to effectively verbalize traumatic events. The ability to use images and symbols can facilitate healing when words fail. Creating art can also feel like a safer way to express yourself which also ignites the healing process. Visual and symbolic expression can empower individuals and help develop self-awareness, explore emotions, address unresolved emotional conflicts, improve social skills, and raise self-esteem.

art enables

You do not have to be an artist to engage in art therapy. This is a common concern and fear of many people who are not familiar with art therapy. You do not need to know how to draw or paint or do anything. You are not responsible for creating a great masterpiece. Art therapy focuses on the creative process itself. It is about what is coming up for you while you are creating. As an art therapist I will not be judging or critiquing your art. I am with you to support your process and make sure you feel safe.

Many clients choose to create a variety of pieces. Some clients like to paint pictures while others like to experiment with mixing paint colors. A few clients may roll balls of clay with their hands while others create pinch pots or clay animals. There are clients who like to draw cartoons while other clients just like to scribble on a page or two. As individual needs are different so is the creative process to each client. Your “art” is whatever you create it to be and that is okay.

As an art therapist I focus on a client’s strengths, interests, and abilities so engaging in the creative process feels safe and comfortable. Art expression includes drawing, painting, sculpting, clay, writing, collage, poetry, music, and much more. Research supports the use of art therapy and acknowledges the therapeutic benefits gained through artistic self-expression.

It is always the client’s choice to engage in art therapy or not. It is okay to start at anytime and it is okay to stop at anytime.

Benefits of Art Therapy

• Promotes self-expression and self-awareness
• Supports self-care, balance, and well being
• Decreases stress, depression, and anxiety
• Manages chronic pain and physical ailments causing distress
• Encourages the development of healthy and effective coping skills
• Explores traumatic experiences in a safe manner
• Assists in improving focus and memory
• Develops problem solving skills and interpersonal/social skills

okeefe

*Heather Hassenbein is a Registered Clinical Counsellor and Professional Art Therapist located in Vancouver, BC.

May 25, 2018May 25, 2018

The Empath & The Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)

A warm welcome to all my fellow empaths and HSPs. And if you are not an empath or a HSP then perhaps you know one and are curious to find out more information to get to know them better and support them.

EMPATHS

Dr. Judith Orloff is an expert on empaths and describes empaths as those who feel and absorb other people’s emotions and/or physical symptoms due to their high sensitivities. They are incredibly intuitive and often have a difficult time sorting out their feelings. Dr. Orloff has a free self-assessment to find out if you are an empath.

Dr. Orloff discuess the differences between empaths and HSPs in her blog.

HSPs

Dr. Elaine Aron is the originator of the ‘Highly Sensitive Person’ concept and describes HSPs as having a sensitive nervous system. HSPs are aware of subtleties in their environment and can can be easily overwhelmed in a highly stimulating environment. Take Dr. Aron’s self-assessment for HSPs.

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A person who is an empath or a highly sensitive person, or both, holds unique skills and traits that can be powerful. Both are deeply genuine and care about others with a great intensity. They are loyal in their most treasured relationships. They are excellent workers and thrive in environments that supports their autonomy. Empaths and HSPs tend to be drawn to the arts, whether they are creating it themselves or merely observing all its beauty. They enjoy a rich inner life and have numerous ideas swirling around in their heads at any given time. Deep conversations are welcomed involving the sharing of passions, ideas, meaning of life, and beyond. And with this deep thinking comes impeccable problem solving abilities. Some of the more commonly known characteristics of empaths and HSPs are their sensitivities. Empaths and HSPs are highly tuned in to the energies and emotions which surround them.

The sensitivities include but are not limited to:

Sight: Bright lights including sun light
Sound: Loud noises (easily startled); Yelling; Non-stop talkers
Smells: Perfume; Food; Cleaning products
Touch: Scratchy clothing; Pain; Hot/Cold
Other people’s moods/reactions/energy
Violent TV shows/movies

Research by Dr. Arthur Aron and Dr. Elaine Aron, the originator of HSP, has shown the different ways HSPs process emotion, awareness, and empathy through MRIs. 20 percent of the population is genetically pre-disposed to empathy. “We found that areas of the brain involved with awareness and emotion, particularly those areas connected with empathetic feelings, in the highly sensitive people showed substantially greater blood flow to relevant brain areas than was seen in individuals with low sensitivity,” said Dr. Aron.

I want to be clear that being an empath or an HSP does not constitute having a mental illness. However, empaths and HSPs often experience challenges due to their sensitivities. Some of these challenges include but are not limited to:

Becoming easily overwhelmed, confused, panicked
Feeling anxious, depressed
Feeling physically and emotionally exhausted at the end of the day
Experiencing panic attacks, excessive rumination, negative thought patterns
A lack of self-confidence, self-awareness, self-worth
Somatic symptoms not due to a medical condition

Those who are not aware of being empaths or HSPs are likely to experience unexplained stressed reactions leading to confusion, guilt, and self-blame. Without proper education and guidance, these challenges may lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms.

My intention is to help you discover who you are as an empath and/or a HSP. I would like to help you develop your own tools and resources so you feel safe, confident, and capable navigating your chosen path. And hopefully help you see your sensitive nature as a part of you to embrace. I view our sensitivities as a strength but you may need some time before you get there and that’s okay.

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hsp

Heather Hassenbein Counsellor Vancouver, BC Art Therapist Empath Highly Sensitive Person HSP Downtown Kitsilano

*Heather Hassenbein is a Registered Clinical Counsellor and Professional Art Therapist located in Vancouver, BC.

March 14, 2018March 18, 2018

Exercise to Calm Anxiety

If you are dealing with anxiety, you are not alone. Anxiety and mood disorders are the most common type of mental illnesses in the United States and Canada. If you have anxiety you know what it feels like. It feels like crap! Some typical anxiety symptoms are dizziness, tension, nervous stomach, racing heart, chest tightness, muscle tightness, dry mouth, fear of dying, nausea, and on and on and on.

Good times right?

NO!

Our minds are incredibly powerful. The mind can create happiness and hell. It can lift you up as easily as it can bring you down. Now let me share something else with you. You are incredibly powerful! You are the master of your mind. Perhaps you have forgotten this. Sometimes I forget. My mind will easily spin out of control if I forget this. Left unchecked and untrained the mind can take over and cause chaos. No one is immune from experiencing anxiety; not even therapists.

The bright news is that anxiety is treatable. There are many ways to help you calm and manage and even alleviate anxiety. Everyone experiences anxiety differently and a treatment that works for one person may not work for another. A therapist will work with you and help you discover the methods that work best for you.

I offer a well-known exercise to help calm and balance you while you are experiencing anxiety or a panic attack. And practice, practice, practice. Use this often even when you are not experiencing anxiety. When you are in the middle of a panic attack, it is hard to remember your tools. Practicing will help you access this calming exercise and your mind and body will work together to help you ground into calm faster.

First take a deep breath. Breathe into your belly so it rises and falls at a slow even pace. If it helps, put one hand on your belly to make sure you are breathing deeply. Deep breaths send signals to the mind that everything is safe – that you are safe. Take at least 3 deep breaths – more are always okay.

Look around you and name 5 things you see. Look at each object’s shape, size, color, and texture.
Look around and name 4 things you feel. Feel your feet on the ground. Feel your skin against your clothes or rub your fingers together. Press your lips together or feel your teeth with your tongue.
Look around and name 3 things you hear. Hear the clock ticking. Hear the traffic outside. Hear the birds, wind, or rain.
Look around and name 2 things you smell. Smell any nearby perfume. Smell some spices from your kitchen cabinet. Smell your hair or skin.
Look around and name 1 thing you taste. Taste in your mouth. Taste a piece of your favorite food.

This exercise can be done as many times as needed. It can also be adapted. If you can’t remember the sequence of numbers, just choose a single number for all the senses.

And remember this: You are powerful!

March 12, 2018March 18, 2018

Talking With Your Emotions

I went to a weekly yin yoga class, after four weeks of not going, because I knew I needed it. I usually find a free yoga class on YouTube but I felt I needed to get out and connect with the community. While in class, the teacher read “The Guest House” by Rumi. It was one I had not read before but it was appropriate for my own self care needs. Working on what I need not only takes practice but it takes time and focus. If I do not find the time to care for myself I end up feeling low in energy and in mood and disconnected from myself and others. If I do not show up for myself, I am not able to be present for others.

The poem was appropriate because of its message on being with whatever emotions rise up within us. Being overwhelmed by emotions is not uncommon. It is easy to embrace feelings that make us feel good like love, joy, and excitement. Those “good” feelings are easy to invite into our awareness and into our bodies because they make us feel light and uplifted.

The other “not so good” emotions are harder to stay with. They feel dark and heavy and can cause discomfort in the body. It is often difficult to sit with emotions like sadness, fear, and anger. There is a tendency, even in myself, to want to push those emotions away or run from them. There are a variety of reasons emotions cause such unease. One reason may be because we are taught to, clearly or inexplicitly, by family, friends, and society to ignore or hide our feelings. We are not supposed to cry in public so we stuff sadness deep down in our bodies. We should be strong and brave so fear gets cast aside to some dark corner. We are not supposed to get angry, especially if you are a girl, so that gets buried within. And there they all sit alone and forgotten. These abandoned emotions become stuck in the mind and body unable to be expressed therefore released. The problem then becomes never learning how to process and cope with those “unacceptable” emotions. We learn to fear them instead. And since nothing can stay buried forever these “scary” emotions will find a way to rise – most likely through some kind of stimulus.

The manifestation of anxiety can be a response to feeling these types of “scary” emotions. The knee jerk reaction to “I’m feeling something uncomfortable” can trigger anxiety. When anxiety is serving its purpose, which is to notify us of a danger or threat so we can act appropriately, will dissipate after it has completed its job. But when we have learned to fear our emotions and our brains perceive a false danger, anxiety can arise and spin out of control.

So what can we do to unlearn all this?

I think Rumi offered a great message. Practice welcoming and entertaining your emotions as they appear – all of your emotions. Every emotion that arises within you is an opportunity to get to know yourself better. Feel free to personify happiness, sadness, fear, anger, joy, and love. When happiness arrives, say hello to it. Ask it how it’s doing. Ask happiness if it needs anything. And do the same with sadness and the emotions that seem to instigate anxiety. Do it with anxiety! “Hey anxiety! What’s up?! I see you popped in unexpectedly can I get you anything? A blanket? Some tea? Have a seat over here. If you want to talk, we can but if not then I have things to do around here. You can leave whenever you’re ready and if I don’t get a goodbye that’s okay. I’ll see ya!”

Seem out there? Have I lost you? Even if this seems bananas I implore you to try it and see for yourself. Let your imagination run wild with this activity. I’m offering you the freedom to do so. Actually set up a place for the emotion. Make it a cup of tea. No one has to know what you are doing except you. I have done this and it has been enlightening. In my experience, the emotion usually left without my awareness. When I finally stopped and checked in with myself, the emotion was gone.

This exercise is a practice in compassion. It’s about being compassionate with yourself – all of you – including your emotions. When we choose to hold space for our emotions, instead of stuffing them away, we are sending a message to ourselves that we are safe. We are telling ourselves we do not have to fear our emotions.

This exercise also engages the creative mind. Your imagination is very powerful. It can either work for you or work against you. When you’re anxious, you imagine all kinds of horrible things don’t you? I know this firsthand. However, why not play with your imagination so it works for you. Train your mind to take care of you. So get to know the parts of you that seem scary. Face them…care for them…play with them…because once you do your emotions can rise and fall without fear.

You are more powerful than you realize.

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

~ Jellaludin Rumi
(Translation by Coleman Barks)